Desert Strike - Official US

Hall of Champions

Dredlock

Legendary Champion
A legendary character that roamed the realm riding a gleaming white donkey, slaying every challenger in his path. He is the guardian of the official Desert Strike map. Nowadays, he is harder to track than the illegitimate child borne of the love affair between Sasquatch and the Loch Ness monster.

Artrix

5 Championships
Amateur gamer with more booms than a 2 dollar crack whore. Specializing in talking above his intellectual level and trolling any player with a win / loss ratio below 1. Truly the poster child for late term abortion but we love him anyway.

Zalos

1 Championship
Retired from WOW to dedicate life to an arcade game. Snubbed Blizzards beta invite and party to spend more time in the map editor.

Hieronymis

1 Championship
Wannabe Pimp who tries to game, used to share a pad with Flavor Flav until he was arrested for stealing a neck clock and sniffing his roommates underwear. Authorities still haven’t released the information on whether it was clean.

HungSoLow “You got a purty mouth boy”

0 Championships
Professional Hillbilly Specializing in Moonshine. Champion Hay Baler for 10 years in a row. Can chuck a space axe 30 miles while drinking a beer in an environmental suit. Every conversation is above his intellectual level but he keeps up by continuously repeating Haaiiii Y’alllllll!

The Hamonator

1 Championship
Loves taking out the Hams. Mr Chris P. Bacon walked into hamonator’s home with 4 hooves. And one ham sandwich later gets wheeled out the front door.

Kakashi

1 Championship
Kakashi, aka “Chump” has been destroyed many times in Desert Strike by the Siege Bros (Sieged and SiegeCuz). Over many years, these constant beatings enraged the Chump and he hacked the Siege Bros computers and found pictures of HungSoLows aka “Purty Mouth” mom getting down with the Siege Bros in a very friendly way… He black mailed them into showing up for a Desert Strike Tourney because he knew their presence would scare away most of the competition and they would beat whoever else remained. He agreed not to ever release the photos and in exchange SiegeCuZ had to lose to him in the championship. This is how the Chump became a Champ for just one day.

BlindSpoT (Previously Barcode)

1 Championship
Don’t even try to scan this barcode, because you’ll never know what you’re gonna get. Scan it today, you might get a diamond for $60. Scan it tomorrow, you might get a smelly turd for $1,000. You will never see him either as he is hiding in your BlindSpoT!

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